Rude, aggressive daters can sour your online dating experience and damage your confidence, so you need to know what to do if you receive an ill-mannered or malicious message. Thankfully, we’ve got a few tips on how to respond:

Be firm and honest

People would never usually ask you multiple questions in a row without giving you time to reply, nor would they make lewd, belligerent comments from the moment they clapped eyes on you. Unfortunately, there’s enough distance between users in the digital world to make certain people think it’s ok to behave this way.

The best way to react to intense messages is with a firm and honest reply like: “Please don’t send me messages like this. It makes me feel uncomfortable.” This clearly informs the user they are crossing a line, without kicking off a ping-pong match of insults. Some may be unaware their behaviour was inappropriate and will apologise immediately. Others will simply move along. If the messages persist, that’s when the next option might be useful…

Don’t be afraid to block

You can shoot yourself in the foot by being trigger happy with the block button (not every user deserves to be shunned for simply saying “hi”). However, you shouldn’t be afraid to use this feature whenever you’re feeling uncomfortable. It’s there for a reason, after all.

Blocking prevents a particular user from being able to view your profile or contact you in any way, which can be reassuring if you’ve recently received one too many messages. If someone can’t be reasoned with, don’t tolerate it any longer: get blocking.

Blow the whistle

Every community has its own village idiot – even the online dating world. You’re free to share as much or as little about yourself as you like when online dating, but unfortunately some people take advantage of this anonymity to cause a bit of a stir. This can range from sending cryptic messages, to more serious things like sexually explicit images. These people need reporting. That’s all there is to it.

You won’t be penalised in any way for flagging a user, and if all online daters respond to receiving nasty messages by alerting site security, the troublesome people can be dealt with and banned. Spammers and fake profiles should also be reported. We have a team working around the clock to deal with these fraudsters, and with your help we can eliminate them for good.

FreeAndSingle are dedicated to providing the very best online dating platform, building a fun-filled community with interesting people looking for love. Our users’ safety is our number one priority, and we keep members frequently updated with tips on how to enjoy their time online whilst remaining completely secure. Join the best free online dating site today and meet your perfect match without paying a penny.

The post How To Respond To Rude Or Aggressive Daters appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

We are, quite obviously, talking about sexting, the dizzy jolt to your pleasure centre that comes from someone you like and trust. Here are some ground rules to keep in mind, though:

1. Until you establish a comfort zone, tread with care

Sex is as wild, wonderful and strange as the people who seek it. Your kinks may not have an immediate twin with those of your online dating partner; therefore, before going full-pelt with your fantasies, test the water. What are they into? How far have they explored a fetish, and what kind of language do they like to use?

Being too vulgar can offend someone, unknotting weeks or months of fond dialogue between you. Start out with general flirtatiousness, then try out some easy, quasi-innocent turn-ons to see if you’re on the right lines.

2. Avoid persistent requests for photo/video

In the media, sexting is often vilified by the shame stories that emerge: this or that nude photograph was spread after a relationship ended, and now far too many people have seen it, disseminated as a form of revenge. Everyone is at risk – teenagers, middle-aged people, even celebrities in the public eye.

Safe online dating means you should be very, very wary of sending intimate images to someone, especially if they don’t return the favour. Visual sexting can be a fantastically exciting tease for your next meet, but there’s always a chance that a Skype camera session will be recorded, or that they’ll screenshot your Snapchat.

Put simply – if your partner isn’t willing to share their own pics or footage, then there isn’t enough mutual trust to feel at ease with.

3. Stay sober for safe online dating

If you’re an energetic, passionate person, then you may be tempted to reach for the keyboard after a big drinking session with your mates, full of a sudden erotic appetite. The FreeAndSingle team, however, suggest you cool down a bit, and refrain from the X-rated stuff until you have a clear frame of mind.

Think for a moment: it’ll be a total, humbling failure if you do the online equivalent of slurring into someone’s ear, feeling much more articulate than you actually seem. Either of our above rules can be broken by letting your love talk off the leash. If you’re far from sober, you’ll likely ramble, or say things you’ll regret, which’ll be the impression anyway if you admit to being plastered in the morning.

Remaining safe in online dating is a challenge, no doubt, when someone is really turning you on. Make sure you spend time with your partner in the flesh before you move to the sexting phase. Otherwise, they may just be after a remote, vicarious thrill, which is so much less than a real physical relationship.

Sign up for free online dating if you’re keen to see where your instincts fall with a dater who’s equally imaginative and spirited!

The post Safe Online Dating: 3 Ground Rules For Sexting appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

No-one wants romance to turn nasty, and a few precautions for a date are perfectly reasonable. To that end, follow these expert tips to stay out of danger and difficult circumstances:

1. Don’t be afraid to drag things out

It’s understandable that someone – especially if you really gel with them – might push for a meetup. The strings of desire form a burning instinct to see and feel a partner in our arms. You might easily rush down that road if the conversation’s been flowing well.

Despite this urge, remember to hang back until the time feels right. Dating expert James Preece (a FreeAndSingle favourite) asks us not to jump into a date “unless you’re absolutely sure you want to meet them. Instead,” he suggests, “talk on the phone for a while, to give you both a chance of knowing each other better.”

2. Stay connected

When you do arrange to meet, going in without ‘backup’, so to speak, is unwise. You should never be the only one (aside from your date) who knows where you are. Social media, or the lifeline of a mobile phone, can alleviate the risk of encountering someone for the first time.

“Tell a friend where you’ll be meeting, or tag yourself into Facebook when you arrive. Even better, get someone to call halfway through to make sure you’re okay, and to give you an ‘out’ if you need it,” says James. That last point is also useful for bypassing awkwardness if the date is a wet squib.

3. Refuse anything but a public place

No matter how nice his house looks on Skype, how great her tea-making skills are… don’t ever agree to a meeting somewhere you don’t know or trust implicitly. Public spots like a café or bar have become dating hangouts for a reason – you’re surrounded by the clatter of spoons in neutral territory, all of which make odd behaviour less likely.

And what if the odds are against you? James Preece suggests that “if you do go on a date, and something makes you feel uncomfortable, then get up and leave immediately. If they act strangely or inappropriately, then it’s just not worth it.”

9 times out of 10, the person you’re warming to will be exactly who they say they are. Yet just one mistake could result in disaster and a course of events you’ll regret. Luckily, safe online dating shouldn’t be too taxing with these guidelines at the back of your mind.

Put them into practice by joining FreeAndSingle – in just a few clicks, you could be well on your way to finding a new squeeze.

James Preece is an author, coach and regular keynote speaker on a variety of dating and relationship issues. Styled as the Dating Guru, he helps men and women work on their pickup skills.

The post 3 Expert Tips For Safe Dating appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

However, we do know that online dating can be a scary prospect when you first start out – and not just because of a bad profile picture!

It’s important to be aware of your personal safety when starting to date people you’ve met online. You don’t want to have to be thinking about it all evening though, otherwise where is the fun?

We’ve found a great new application you can put on your iphone called Checkon.me which allows you to set an alarm to go off after your date is over.  Check-in with the app when you get home to turn it off and signal everything is fine.

If anything goes wrong, the alarm will let your friends and family know exactly where you are and that you haven’t come home as expected. Simple as that! If you feel uncomfortable at any time, you can even send out an SOS text to a friend to let them know you need rescuing!

Here’s some more safety tips from Free and Single to ensure that your internet dating experience is both fun and safe! (You can check out this safety tips for online dating article too).

1. Tell someone you know and trust where you are going for your date and when you expect to be back.
2. Make sure you have a mobile phone with you, and make sure it is fully charged before you head out the door.
3. Make sure you stick to a public venue for the first few dates and don’t go back to their place until you’ve met up a few times and feel you can trust them.

Happy Dating!

P.S Let us know your safety tips in the comments – do you set-up a get-out telephone call with a friend? Do you carry pepper spray? Tell us your favourite tips for a chance to be featured in this blog.

The post Staying Safe While Online Dating appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

Once you agree to go on a date and meet up with someone you have met online and feel a connection with, put some measures in place to keep yourself safe – then you can relax and have lots of fun secure in the knowledge that if anything turns out badly, you can escape back home with no harm done.

First up, tell a few people who care about you where you are going and when. No point telling the postman! Don’t let embarrassment get in the way of your safety. Tell a few friends then you know you have back-up should you need it. Also set a time when you plan to return from your date – maybe a phone call or a text to discuss how it went with a friend will let them know it all went fine and give you a chance to gossip!

Second, choose a public place for your date. Offering to cook dinner at home is a sweet gesture, but it could hide a darker plan. Until you know you trust your date completely, you should stick to areas where you can be seen by other people. Why else would restaurants, movie theatres and coffee houses be the ideal first date venues?

Third, if at any time you feel uncomfortable or unsafe with your date, remember this: you are an adult. You do not have to bow to peer pressure and you most certainly should not feel you have to do anything you don’t want to just because you are on a date. After all, the date will never develop into anything further if they stress you out that much, so no need to capitulate ‘just this once’.

Fourth. Right. The awkward bit. If, for whatever reason, you decide to go a few steps further than is traditional for a first date – maybe you get carried away by sheer animal lust, or just want to see if you can still do ‘it’ after a long while single – be sensible. Use a condom. STDs are not pretty. Knocked Up is not a film to recreate.

The most important things to remember when heading out the door to enjoy a first date with someone you have only ever interacted with online are these: make sure you stay safe at all times and have lots of fun! After all, even if that wasn’t your best date there are plenty more singles waiting to fill up your inbox here on Free and Single!

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